Looking back, I see
how much of my happiness I let others control
in constant need for validation and approval,
wanting to be liked and get along with everyone.
Made efforts that were never returned,
left… felt unloved.
Unwanted by some,
unseen by others.
I was invisible.
Looking back, I understand
it was my fault
to put myself in such a state
vulnerable, open, and unarmed.
I invited trouble
and trouble is what I got.
Looking back, I realise that I will never be that person
make those mistakes because
I have learned
I have grown
for the better,
for my own good.
It started about ten years ago (2003-04 season), when my brother was watching a game between Liverpool and Chelsea. I didn’t know anything about football back then, but I was forced to watch it. My brother was supporting Liverpool and to spice things up I said Chelsea will win. It turned out to be one hell of a match. I still remember Chelsea took a lead in the first half before it was equalized by a Liverpool penalty in the second. I remember the penalty because it was taken twice for some reason I can’t remember and LFC missed the first one but scored the second. 😛
Chelsea scored late on in the game to snatch away a victory at Anfield. At that point I thought, that was the last football match I’d see, it so happens, the next week as I was switching channels I came across Chelsea v Leicester and I decided to watch it as there was nothing else on TV; Chelsea won that game with a 2-1 scoreline too. Then I started watching their games week in week out, only a few were telecasted if I remember correctly. That season Chelsea finished second and I felt so bad. 😦
I was too small to realize that I’ve started supporting CFC but Chelsea were always the team for me and I will never forget the first time I watched them play. It might seem like a stupid reason to support a team but like they say
‘You don’t pick a team, the team picks you’
Well, Chelsea picked me on 17th August, 2003 and I have grown into a passionate admirer of Chelsea Football Club. 🙂
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