we are constantly trying to be perfect and “win at life”. life isn’t a competition to “win” we focus so much on the results and getting things done right and perfectly in order to get to some place “nice” or to “make it”. if you’re extremely religious, this is heaven for you. so, here in life, we are trying to do all the things necessary to get to a point where you can say you made it. every action of ours is in line with this goal of ours. guess what! I have a deal breaker for you!
life is the real deal.
this is it theres nothing more to it. this present moment is all you have to make a change in this world and in your own reality. stop trying to constantly get to someplace far.
because i’ve come to realise that all of us are in constant anticipation of what the future holds instead of just living in the present moment and enjoying this to the fullest!
and every present moment has become an anticipated memory of the past. it’s such a paradoxical life we are living and it is time we change that. so, stop trying to convince yourself there’s somewhere better to be instead just focus on doing your best at the current moment. works as hard as you can on yourself. be kind to everyone. you can’t technically fail at life because life isn’t an exam — you’re bound to have good and bad days but you keep moving forward and continually and relentlessly work on your skills and develop them!
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You have probably heard of how rejection and mistakes are good things. How they shape who you are and teach you valuable lessons. Well, it is true and false at the same time. Lessons are taught by nature at all times. But these are useful only if you heed to what they are saying and understand that these need to be taken in a positive way. The teachings of life can so easily be ignored because of the mere fact that it is indeed free!
Simply failing and making up excuses for your inadequacy isn’t going to benefit you from anyway. Make sure you are taking something away from these mistakes and learn how to better yourself the next time you have to do the task. Analysis and preparation are crucial for turning the failures into something of value. So, stop giving bullshit excuses to yourself and start analysing where you are going wrong.
We all get rejected and it sucks! Nobody likes being told “you aren’t good enough“, “your skills aren’t sufficient“, or even “better luck next time“. But you gotta remember, the comeback is always better than the setback. And you need to make sure that you aren’t repeating the same thing over and over. I’ve written about how harmful these patterns are Read here!
Here’s a basic system that you can use in order to get something valuable out of this rejection:
- Put an end to denial – Stop thinking you are greater than thou and admit you failed
- Review what you did or didn’t do against what you should have done
- Figure out where you went wrong. If you can’t do it on your own, ask for help. There’s no shame
- Now, that you’ve figured where you’ve gone wrong, start working towards how to make it right!
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I am happy to tell you all that I have started a new Channel on YouTube to be able share my ideas better and in a better way and I hope you guys find it interesting, I would greatly appreciate it if you could take a look at the channel and support it. Thank you in advance.
Here is my video, introducing myself and why I started YouTube:
There’s a tireless wave of really trying tasks,
we’re all merely stuck in an endless loop
that we created for ourselves.
Norms, we call them
stability, we tag them
easy, is what it is
and that’s why we are scared,
scared to break the loop.
For if you break it, you are free!
You can be you
even though you’ve forgotten what ‘you’ feels like.
You can be you, unfiltered
without generations of passed down prejudices.
You can be you, filled with grace
no judgements or adulterations.
You can be you, brimming with confidence
without the need of approval from others.
Looking back, I see
how much of my happiness I let others control
in constant need for validation and approval,
wanting to be liked and get along with everyone.
Made efforts that were never returned,
left… felt unloved.
Unwanted by some,
unseen by others.
I was invisible.
Looking back, I understand
it was my fault
to put myself in such a state
vulnerable, open, and unarmed.
I invited trouble
and trouble is what I got.
Looking back, I realise that I will never be that person
make those mistakes because
I have learned
I have grown
for the better,
for my own good.
“Just this once”
This is one of the most common excuses I have heard myself give in various circumstances when I mess up something. I convince myself that it’s always the first time I am being bad at what I do. While this may be true— I may actually have messed up for the first time in the given situation; there’s a pattern! I got so used to letting myself off easy for the mistakes that kept occurring so frequently with that excuse and I convinced myself that it’s okay to mess up. Now, of course it is okay to mess up but one needs to learn something from the mistake and take away something important from that experience. I did not seem to be doing that, instead I kept giving myself more and more chances to screw things up without learning a damn thing.
I have consciously tried to correct this and break from this pattern of perpetually making mistakes because I realise that how I do one thing is how I do every damn thing.
Here are a few examples—
- I’m late for my class, I’m late for my doctor appointments, I miss flights/trains/buses.
- I procrastinate on studying, working on my assignment, project, work.
- I get mad at my parents, my friends, my professors.
I kept focusing on the thing or place of the mistake. The point is I AM LATE no matter where I’m going; I PROCRASTINATE irrespective of the task; I AM SHORT-TEMPERED regardless of the situation.
I could go on listing many situations where I have been wrong and point of how it is merely the way I have been living my life and how it has become a part of me. In fact, I have made a list. Now, it is time for me to work on that list and make sure that it isn’t me anymore because I don’t want to be that person, it’ll take some time and require a lot of resilience and patience but I am ready to put the effort in to make myself a better person than I was before. I also know for a fact that there are many out there just like me facing similar issues and this is a call-out to them to come out of denial and accept who we really are and strive to not be those irresponsibly stupid people anymore.
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