ANNOUNCEMENT: NEW YouTube Channel!

Hey guys,

I am happy to tell you all that I have started a new Channel on YouTube to be able share my ideas better and in a better way and I hope you guys find it interesting, I would greatly appreciate it if you could take a look at the channel and support it. Thank you in advance.

Here is my video, introducing myself and why I started YouTube:

Break free

There’s a tireless wave of really trying tasks,

we’re all merely stuck in an endless loop

that we created for ourselves.

Norms, we call them

stability, we tag them

easy, is what it is

and that’s why we are scared,

scared to break the loop.

 

For if you break it, you are free!

You can be you

even though you’ve forgotten what ‘you’ feels like.

You can be you, unfiltered

without generations of passed down prejudices.

You can be you, filled with grace

no judgements or adulterations.

You can be you, brimming with confidence

without the need of approval from others.

Looking back…

Looking back, I see

how much of my happiness I let others control

in constant need for validation and approval,

wanting to be liked and get along with everyone.

Made efforts that were never returned,

left… felt unloved.

Unwanted by some,

unseen by others.

I was invisible.

 

Looking back, I understand

it was my fault

to put myself in such a state

vulnerable, open, and unarmed.

I invited trouble

and trouble is what I got.

 

Looking back, I realise that I will never be that person

make those mistakes because

I have learned

I have grown

for the better,

for my own good.

 

How you do one thing is how you do everything

“Just this once”

This is one of the most common excuses I have heard myself give in various circumstances when I mess up something. I convince myself that it’s always the first time I am being bad at what I do. While this may be true— I may actually have messed up for the first time in the given situation; there’s a pattern! I got so used to letting myself off easy for the mistakes that kept occurring so frequently with that excuse and I convinced myself that it’s okay to mess up. Now, of course it is okay to mess up but one needs to learn something from the mistake and take away something important from that experience. I did not seem to be doing that, instead I kept giving myself more and more chances to screw things up without learning a damn thing.

I have consciously tried to correct this and break from this pattern of perpetually making mistakes because I realise that how I do one thing is how I do every damn thing.

Here are a few examples—

  • I’m late for my class, I’m late for my doctor appointments, I miss flights/trains/buses.
  • I procrastinate on studying, working on my assignment, project, work.
  • I get mad at my parents, my friends, my professors.

I kept focusing on the thing or place of the mistake. The point is I AM LATE no matter where I’m going; I PROCRASTINATE irrespective of the task; I AM SHORT-TEMPERED regardless of the situation.

I could go on listing many situations where I have been wrong and point of how it is merely the way I have been living my life and how it has become a part of me. In fact, I have made a list. Now, it is time for me to work on that list and make sure that it isn’t me anymore because I don’t want to be that person, it’ll take some time and require a lot of resilience and patience but I am ready to put the effort in to make myself a better person than I was before. I also know for a fact that there are many out there just like me facing similar issues and this is a call-out to them to come out of denial and accept who we really are and strive to not be those irresponsibly stupid people anymore.


If you enjoyed this post and want to read more, follow me here! You can also find me on Twitter and Instagram. Feel free to leave your comments below.

Struggles in the last week

6R7KCXBEEE

There comes a time in anyone’s life when they feel like they aren’t worth anything. When everything they’ve done so far seems to be for nothing. Everyone around you seems to have it all figured out and making progress while you’re just stuck doing absolutely nothing. Well, this recently happened to me when I was dumbstruck by all the things that people around me – my friends, family – were doing. I felt worthless as if I was running out of time for some reason. I felt the need to do things and do them quickly. This urge, I thought was a good thing.

Turns out it isn’t.

When we feel like we’re running out of time and put ourselves under that kind of pressure when there’s absolutely no need for any of that, it causes more harm than good. Who set deadlines for the things that I’m yet to do? Who got to decide that if I start something now, it’ll be too late? Why should I feel like this is some sort of a race against time?

The answer is simple: The social pressure to ‘fit in’. Well, this pressure is the reason many of us are in jobs we don’t like and this pressure is the reason that many of us still haven’t taken that trip to explore the world because we have ‘commitments’ here. I’ve come to realize that we are fooling ourselves to a great extent by telling all these lies to ourselves. We do not have to do the same things that others do just because it is socially accepted. We do not have to do things at the same time our friends do. We sure as hell don’t have a deadline on our dreams. So, whenever you feel like ‘you’re falling behind’ know that there is no such thing as falling behind.

You have to work hard, sure. But that should come from within and be self motivated. You shouldn’t wanna do something because everyone around you is doing that. It’s not only stupid but also useless and never gets the results you’re hoping for. Worrying about the things that others are doing and worrying about the things that you haven’t done is never gonna change anything. So, get off the worrying boat and go kick some ass.

Stay motivated. Stay focused.

My Chelsea love: How it all started

It started about ten years ago (2003-04 season), when my brother was watching a game between Liverpool and Chelsea. I didn’t know anything about football back then, but I was forced to watch it. My brother was supporting Liverpool and to spice things up I said Chelsea will win. It turned out to be one hell of a match. I still remember Chelsea took a lead in the first half before it was equalized by a Liverpool penalty in the second. I remember the penalty because it was taken twice for some reason I can’t remember and LFC missed the first one but scored the second. 😛

Chelsea scored late on in the game to snatch away a victory at Anfield. At that point I thought, that was the last football match I’d see, it so happens, the next week as I was switching channels I came across Chelsea v Leicester and I decided to watch it as there was nothing else on TV; Chelsea won that game with a 2-1 scoreline too. Then I started watching their games week in week out, only a few were telecasted if I remember correctly. That season Chelsea finished second and I felt so bad. 😦

I was too small to realize that I’ve started supporting CFC but Chelsea were always the team for me and I will never forget the first time I watched them play. It might seem like a stupid reason to support a team but like they say

‘You don’t pick a team, the team picks you’  

Well, Chelsea picked me on 17th August, 2003 and I have grown into a passionate admirer of Chelsea Football Club.  🙂


If you enjoyed this post and want to read more, follow me here! You can also find me on Twitter and Instagram. Feel free to leave your comments below.

The birthday week…

April 29th was my birthday and it was something very special to me. On the stroke of twelve I was wished by many people- either by text or call. The next day I had a test at college, so I didn’t have any massive plans with my friends which was kind of sad. But as I went to college, I saw my friend May in her car but didn’t stop for me, that seemed odd. Then I go to class and find out that May and Madison have bunked it. That was something that doesn’t happen very often as they usually invite me while bunking. I grew increasingly suspicious.

In the break, I was taken to the canteen by the friends present in the class cause they were hungry. As we went there, I found May and Maddy writing their ‘homework’. They asked me for a treat and when I said no, they decided to buy me something(LOL). I asked for a sandwich and went to the table. They come after a few minutes with a glorious black forest cake in their hand and everybody says “Surprise!” That felt so good and I thanked all of them and proceeded to cut it. There weren’t any candles, so I decided to blow out my imaginary candles(No, I’m not retarded!)

We cut the cake, clicked some pictures, ate the cake, drank the drinks and opened the gift. The gift was a yellow and white striped top which was so cute. Thank you guys(And thank you for the card too, I guess!)

Then we went to the class and sat there studying for the test on that day, which sucked big time.

After college, I had to go meet up with some of my friends from school. I was delayed as my shoes were with May and she didn’t finish her exams. I was late to go meet with two of my friends. They kept insisting I give a treat and so I decided to give them the treat. Then they took to a  restaurant nearby.

As we entered the restaurant, I saw more of my friends at the table and they shouted “Surprise!” (well, at least that was the plan, but they didn’t really shout. :P)

There were lot of them to be named, so I’m just gonna go to the cake cutting part. This was a huge cheesy chocolate cake which looked absolutely delicious. I cut the cake as everybody sang all and fed it to all. Got some on my face for the second time in the same day. And we ordered some food and ate them. I opened the gift, which was a pair of sexy-looking Converse All-Star shoes. I was excited about the gift cause I’ve been wanting a shoe for a while now. And then we sat there talking and talking. Then we decided to leave and a guy living on my street said he’d drop me in his cool bike (he didn’t really say ‘COOL BIKE’, duh!). Then I reached home and told this story to my parents.

 

And that is the story of ‘What happened when I turned 18’