Life is not an audition

we are constantly trying to be perfect and “win at life”. life isn’t a competition to “win” we focus so much on the results and getting things done right and perfectly in order to get to some place “nice” or to “make it”. if you’re extremely religious, this is heaven for you. so, here in life, we are trying to do all the things necessary to get to a point where you can say you made it. every action of ours is in line with this goal of ours. guess what! I have a deal breaker for you!

life is the real deal.

this is it theres nothing more to it. this present moment is all you have to make a change in this world and in your own reality. stop trying to constantly get to someplace far.

because i’ve come to realise that all of us are in constant anticipation of what the future holds instead of just living in the present moment and enjoying this to the fullest!

and every present moment has become an anticipated memory of the past. it’s such a paradoxical life we are living and it is time we change that. so, stop trying to convince yourself there’s somewhere better to be instead just focus on doing your best at the current moment. works as hard as you can on yourself. be kind to everyone. you can’t technically fail at life because life isn’t an exam — you’re bound to have good and bad days but you keep moving forward and continually and relentlessly work on your skills and develop them!

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The L word

Learning is about inspiration, not information!

You are never really “done” learning. Learning is a constant process that keeps your mind alive and functioning. It can be thought of as breathing for your brain, once you stop doing it, your brain becomes dead<so to speak!> Idle mind is a devils playground. And when you stop assimilating knowledge, your brain becomes idle and starts wandering off in unproductive directions with you having no control over them!

When you do not feed your mind important, informative, intellectual <and other words starting from i that’ll make you think I’m smart> things to think about, it’ll usually result in you pondering over problems and overthinking, which is not healthy for either you or your brain. Keep your mind busy enough so it does not have time to think and worry about all the things that do not exist. Overthinking causes you to worry about the most unlikely scenarios <Imagine some witty example of why overthinking is a mess!>

We can all agree that education system, which says it is teaching something to kids, is heavily flawed. A bunch of kids — each definitely unique in their own ways, with obviously different interests, and who will all take varied amounts of time to comprehend and learn something are taught the same thing over a same period of time and are tested on the basis of their understanding of that! In my opinion, these tests determine the ability of the teacher to convey the information more than the student’s intellectual ability. <Many Indians nodding furiously in approval>

Since the obvious choice of learning seems to be below par, what do we do? Well, the Internet is a wonderful place to turn to at this time. We are fortunate to be a part of a world where you can Google anything and information about it appears for free, at your convenience.

Think about it, Internet is like your portable library+personal advisor+intellectual partner in crime.

In a world where information is so easily and readily available, the irony is that not many access and make use of it. We instead use the Internet for social media stalking and validation purposes. There’s nothing wrong with that but I urge you to take one small break from that routine and to focus on learning something new. It is a very small change in your life that could lead to many good things.


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Life can change pretty quickly

We have all heard about how nothing in this world is certain and the only thing that is a constant is ‘change’. It is true and you don’t realise how true this is until you are at the receiving end of this change.

Life just thunderbolts your entire world upside down in a fraction of second and you are left there stammering and gasping.

And this can happen to anyone, no matter how happy, sad, busy, entitled, arrogant, kind, loving, or smart you are. No one is immune to life’s sudden mood swings that leave you wondering and questioning about the very purpose of it.

This week I have heard of two deaths of people that study in my college. That is, two lives, that I have probably crossed paths with, who do not exist anymore. They were someone’s son/daughter, someone’s best friend, someone’s bae, someone’s constant. This is really a smack in my head by this thing called ‘reality’. This is a not so gentle reminder to the rest of us — the living, about how really uncertain and small life is and how we should truly be concentrating on the things that makes us and the people around us happy becasue no one knows for a fact who will be around for how long!

Reality is like a game that we are forced to play but you could, at any moment, be destroyed, and in truth you have absolutely no control over what is happening in the game except the things that you can do for yourself, by yourself. We keep making plans about the future as if it is guaranteed; instead we could be focusing on living today, and making it amazing.

Your forever could end tomorrow, so what is stopping you from living today?


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Rejection and Response

You have probably heard of how rejection and mistakes are good things. How they shape who you are and teach you valuable lessons. Well, it is true and false at the same time. Lessons are taught by nature at all times. But these are useful only if you heed to what they are saying and understand that these need to be taken in a positive way. The teachings of life can so easily be ignored because of the mere fact that it is indeed free!

Simply failing and making up excuses for your inadequacy isn’t going to benefit you from anyway. Make sure you are taking something away from these mistakes and learn how to better yourself the next time you have to do the task. Analysis and preparation are crucial for turning the failures into something of value. So, stop giving bullshit excuses to yourself and start analysing where you are going wrong.

We all get rejected and it sucks! Nobody likes being told “you aren’t good enough“, “your skills aren’t sufficient“, or even “better luck next time“. But you gotta remember, the comeback is always better than the setback. And you need to make sure that you aren’t repeating the same thing over and over. I’ve written about how harmful these patterns are Read here!

Here’s a basic system that you can use in order to get something valuable out of this rejection:

  • Put an end to denial – Stop thinking you are greater than thou and admit you failed
  • Review what you did or didn’t do against what you should have done
  • Figure out where you went wrong. If you can’t do it on your own, ask for help. There’s no shame
  • Now, that you’ve figured where you’ve gone wrong, start working towards how to make it right!

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Opinions are not facts

Everyone in this world has many different opinions about many different things around us. We have opinions about movies, politics, cats, dogs, music, books, dance, guitars, cars, pens, sex, love, space and what not! No one can say they do not have an opinions about something; because we are human beings and we are supposed to think and create an impression about the things that happen around us and to us. I’d be lying if I said I didn’t. We must perceive things and understand them and develop preferences for certain things over the other. We need to see all the different events and cultivate different views about them. That’s what we are meant to do and that’s why we are given the privilege think and if we didn’t do that, we’d be wasting our brain’s abilities.

So, all of us are entitled to our own opinions. Every single one of us. But..

We have misused that right. We have come to believe that opinions are facts and that what we think and how we see is the only way to look at things. Let me elaborate:

Just because you have seen something in a certain way and developed an idea about it, it doesn’t mean everyone in this world is gonna agree with you. In fact, most of them might disagree with you. You do not have to right to assume that your sentiment is a fact and you sure as hell should not stuff it in people’s face. Learn to respect other people’s viewpoint and try to understand that. Everyone can teach you something you don’t know. In fact, listening to their idea may help you to look at it in a way you never thought of before.

Discussion is an exchange of information. Argument is an exchange of ignorance.

Stop being ignorant of the people around you. In this world of social media, you can share your views across continents in a matter of seconds, which is what I’m doing right now, so you need to be able to accept others take on the matter and be open to new ideas and discussions. You might be used to the idea that you’ve developed but that doesn’t make it true; not does it make the other person’s notion less valuable.

Also, it is important to understand that your opinion of something doesn’t make it a reality or the truth. It is simply the way you have seen the issue or event and how your brain has come to understand it. I kindly request you to think before dismissing someone’s impression of a matter. Before talking about anything ask yourself three things

  • Is it necessary?
  • Is it kind?
  • Does it make a difference.

If the answer to any one of those questions is no, may be you should just keep quiet. Stop hurting and attacking others sentiments. Keep calm and love well.

Everyone can have their own opinion, everyone cannot have their own fact.