How you do one thing is how you do everything

“Just this once”

This is one of the most common excuses I have heard myself give in various circumstances when I mess up something. I convince myself that it’s always the first time I am being bad at what I do. While this may be true— I may actually have messed up for the first time in the given situation; there’s a pattern! I got so used to letting myself off easy for the mistakes that kept occurring so frequently with that excuse and I convinced myself that it’s okay to mess up. Now, of course it is okay to mess up but one needs to learn something from the mistake and take away something important from that experience. I did not seem to be doing that, instead I kept giving myself more and more chances to screw things up without learning a damn thing.

I have consciously tried to correct this and break from this pattern of perpetually making mistakes because I realise that how I do one thing is how I do every damn thing.

Here are a few examples—

  • I’m late for my class, I’m late for my doctor appointments, I miss flights/trains/buses.
  • I procrastinate on studying, working on my assignment, project, work.
  • I get mad at my parents, my friends, my professors.

I kept focusing on the thing or place of the mistake. The point is I AM LATE no matter where I’m going; I PROCRASTINATE irrespective of the task; I AM SHORT-TEMPERED regardless of the situation.

I could go on listing many situations where I have been wrong and point of how it is merely the way I have been living my life and how it has become a part of me. In fact, I have made a list. Now, it is time for me to work on that list and make sure that it isn’t me anymore because I don’t want to be that person, it’ll take some time and require a lot of resilience and patience but I am ready to put the effort in to make myself a better person than I was before. I also know for a fact that there are many out there just like me facing similar issues and this is a call-out to them to come out of denial and accept who we really are and strive to not be those irresponsibly stupid people anymore.


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Scars are beautiful

Mistakes, a phenomena constantly made by all of us(and denied, too). Mistakes are hated and looked down upon by many because they remind us of our shortcomings. They make us feel like failures, losers, idiots. It is natural to be disappointed when you make mistakes but they are crucial to our overall success.

  • Without mistakes, there’d be no lessons
  • We’d forever be unaware of our shortcomings
  • Make us realise that there’s more than one way to do things
  • Make great stories once you are successful

I think, mistakes are important tips we need to pick up on our way to our success and I firmly believe that every fall is vital because they teach us something new if we are willing to listen and learn. We just need to keep an open mind an be willing to take risks and learn from failures. We should learn to not be afraid of making mistakes, we are only human.


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Overcome Bias

We have lived in a society that feeds on prejudice. All of us, at some point in life,  have come to conclusions about people we don’t know based on what we see and hear about them. While a few of us acknowledge that this is wrong, a great majority doesn’t. There are plenty of people talking about that great majority but I am going to talk about the few of us who realise the wrongness and still choose to do it anyway!

We convince ourselves that we are good people and we choose to be good people. While this seems like a noble thing, it is actually the root cause of problem. Because the first step to solving problems is to acknowledge their existence. This set of people want to be unbiased and unprejudiced when faced with a new person and/or situation but somehow that subconscious bias overrides their ‘wants’ and they come to a conclusion.

So, here’s a system you can employ to overcome bias:

1. Acknowledge the bias

You need to understand that if you intend on solving the problem, you have to first choose to see the problem. Recognising bias doesn’t make you a bad person. Sometimes we lean on biases we didn’t even know we had and that causes us to question our beliefs. So, make an active effort to understand your perspective instead of denying it.

“Stop trying to be good people, and be real people” – Vernā Myers

2. Speak about it even if it makes you uncomfortable

This is important, if you truly want to improve then you have to speak about it, be open to learning and being challenged by learned folks. Speak about it, seek help and choose to be better than before. It is no shame to reach out and ask for help. Try to get more people talking and if they are struggling with same issues, help them get over theirs as well. Do not run away from conversations, which are necessary simply because you’re uncomfortable.

3. Move forward with it

After you have understood what biases you have, then move forward carrying them and try to change. When you are trying to understand how your bias system works, you can tell you mind when it is doing something wrong. And  repeatedly being told what is wrong will make your brain believe; because that is how bias is formed in the first place — repetition! This will work far better than being in denial about the bias and being biased. Make a conscious effort to bring a change in the way your brain jumps to conclusions you don’t want to!


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What if the world comes to an end?

Then , we build it up again!

In the recent light of events, there seems to be a sense of fear and negativity among many of us. Some of us are expecting the worst to happen and we are terrified of it. We are creating instances in our heads that are noxious to our well-being. The media is portraying a very morbid picture of what the future holds and people are alarmed because of that. But the truth is, none of us know how the future will pan out and you cannot be afraid of it simply because of speculations.

There are terrible racist incidents happening in the US but linking every one of them to President-elect Trump is unjustified. These happened even before he was elected, racism was not born because of Donald Trump it was very much in existence before and it is important that you do not create more panic by linking each story incident to this and paint a ghastly picture!

If you cannot spread peace and love, do not speculate and spread bad news.

Talk more about the things you love and celebrate what you want to see more of.

Stop creating a villain out of Donald Trump before he has even had a chance to step into power. Sure, he has said terrible and horrifying things during his campaign but the truth is we really do not know what the future holds and postulating that the world is going to be a terrible place is unreasonable.

But of course, there is a possibility that bad things might happen but so long as we all stay together and promote love, bad things will go away. Stop turning against each other, not everyone that voted for Trump is a racist or sexist! Please acknowledge that and try to accept people’s choices. This is what democracy has to offer, accept it and try to promote love and support to everyone.


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Starting is the secret

Success is something we all dream of. For each of us though, success means many different things – money, fame, satisfaction or any other way you could define it. We’ve always been taught to dream of being self-sufficient and financially stable and the society we live in consistently tells us, this is what it means to be successful. But the truth is, you define your own success and it doesn’t matter who agrees or not with you(as long as you are not harming anybody in the process)!

Now, if you’ve been exposed to Internet for a while you would have obviously come across millions of articles regarding the ‘formula of success’, ‘how to be successful’, and ‘what do successful people do’. Well, I’ll tell you what successful people do, they START! That’s right, it is just that simple they start doing what they want to and continue learning as they are doing it.

They get their hands dirty and work on their dreams instead of just talking about it and reading articles about how to be great.

So, it is time for you to start as well, start with what you have, where you are and try to get better at what you want to do.

Ask for help along the way because it is okay to be stuck at some point – we’re only human! You’d be surprised at how many people will be willing to help you if you just ask for it. Take your dreams as seriously as you take TV shows/movies and you’ll go a long way. You get one try at life, why not live it by doing everything you imagine.

It is not easy, putting yourself up there and making mistakes and being insulted but that is a process of being successful. When you fail, tell yourself:

“This story is going to be in my book when I become successful”

Because it will shape you and teach you more than anything else in the world. Do not be afraid of starting.


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Health

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10 October is marked as the World Mental Health Day by WHO and it is aimed at spreading awareness among the people about the problems of mental health issues. It is a very important and real problem faced by many of us and there is a need to address this issue.

Mental health has always been less important than physical health for a long time but it is time to change than and bring an emphasis to a healthier mind.

There are a couple of things, you can do to help those around you who are suffering from mental health issues. Create a safe space for them to speak to you and encourage them to speak about it to their close ones. Do not judge them. Make them feel comfortable and realise that you are there to help them. Sometimes, they don’t need your advice, you simply have to listen to them and that itself is of great help for them. Make them aware of the organisations that are here to help them. Taking professional help doesn’t make them weak and make sure they are aware of this. By doing this you make mental health care a reality for people around you and worldwide.

Be nice!


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Minimalism

Does minimalism actually work?

Minimalism is the new fad in town. Everybody is actively talking about it and writing about why we should all live a minimal, clutter-free life. There are tons of posts out there outlining the advantages of minimalism!

But here’s the deal…

A world which is filled with so many visionaries and artists shouldn’t be told ‘how to live’ their lives.

We are all dreamers and we all want to do amazing things in life. We dream of a life we’ll be leading and all things in it; being told which is the ‘best’ practice seems childish. The lives we have imagined and designed for ourselves might not be minimal and that is okay!
You can live your life in whatever way that works for you. Experiment with different concepts and try different lifestyles; whatever you are comfortable with and enjoy living that way.

Do not let the Internet tell you there is a ‘best way’ to do life!

May be you are one of those people, for whom, minimalism actually does work! That’s good for you but don’t expect everyone to be the same. Some of us don’t have it all together like you but we’re happy and content with life. We don’t need a guide on how to be ourselves, so just let us be! Don’t get me wrong, I am not against Minimalism, I think the concept is great and I admire people who can make do with less than 100 things in their house but I’m just saying I’m not one of them. May be in the future I’ll experiment with minimalism and like it but for now, I like this messy, unorganized, cluttered lifestyle that I’m living.